


Go Back to Let Go

by TechnicalTragedy



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: Heartbreak, M/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 04:32:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1291468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TechnicalTragedy/pseuds/TechnicalTragedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Noah goes back to Oakdale on a whim, and it turns out to be a mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Go Back to Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> My entry for week 2 of the ssfa writing challenge. My word prompt was inopportune.

Noah had last seen Oakdale two years ago. He'd made several plans to go back, had sorted out dates and checked with Luke, but something had always come up, and he hadn't made it back.

 

He was done with his film now, and decided it would be a great time to go back to Oakdale so he could see his old friends again. So he could see Luke again, and maybe get back together with him. He hoped it would be okay if he just showed up out of the blue.

 

The drive to LAX felt like it took forever, as did the boarding process, and the flight, and the waiting for his luggage, and just everything about his sudden trip to Oakdale felt sluggish and never-ending.

 

There was a sense of wrongness lingering with him the entire way there, as if he wasn't meant to be doing this, but Noah kept on, determined to see Luke no matter what.

 

When Noah finally got to Oakdale, it was oddly quiet, even more so than usual. The wrong feeling increased, but he shrugged it off. It was a Sunday, after all. They might be at church.

 

There was no-one at the Snyder farm, nor was there anyone at Lily and Holden's mansion when he went to check. Puzzled, knowing they didn't all go to church en masse, he wondered where they all went.

 

He decided to stop in at Al's and come back later, and when he sat down at a booth he looked around and noticed that there was only a handful of patrons. He checked his watch. Church should've let out a little while ago. Normally the diner was packed at this time on a Sunday. The waitress arriving brought him out of his thoughts, but as he ordered part of his mind was still focused on trying to figure out what he was missing.

 

The waitress set down his food, and he caught her attention quickly. "Hey, uh," Noah glanced at her nametag, "Julie. I was just wondering, where is everybody? Shouldn't there be lots of people here at this time of day?"

 

Julie nodded. "Usually there would be, but there's apparently some big wedding going on. That Snyder boy is getting married today."

 

Noah felt dread settle in his stomach. "Is it... Is it Luke Snyder?"

 

She grinned, "Yeah, him! Do you know him? Sweet boy, nobody thought he'd get married, though, after what happened to the last man he was with. Did you hear about that? Tragic thing, it was."

 

Noah swallowed, and looked down at his food. He suddenly wasn't feeling very hungry. "I think I have somewhere I need to be," he murmured, and stood.

 

Julie blinked at him in surprise as he threw some money down, probably too much for the food he didn't eat. "Keep the change," he muttered as he escaped outside, feeling panic and anger rising quickly inside him.

 

He planted his hands on the wall once he was outside, and gulped in air. He needed to calm down, gets his wits about him, and figure something out.

 

All he knew was that he needed to get to that church. He couldn't let this marriage happen.

 

 

\- - -

 

 

Noah rushed to the only church he knew of in Oakdale, but before he threw the doors open and made a huge, dramatic entrance, he paused, and thought about what he was doing. He couldn't just barge in and make a scene; Luke would never forgive him.

 

He knew he didn't want Luke to get married, but why was Luke getting married at all? After Reid died, he'd said he didn't want to be with anyone. Was he lying? Did he just not want to be with Noah? Apparently not, since he was getting married.

 

It hurt, knowing that Luke just didn't want to be with him. That he'd  _marry_  someone that wasn't Noah after telling him he didn't want anyone.

 

It hurt, but Noah wasn't angry about it anymore. If he wasn't what Luke wanted or needed, then he should let him go so he can have the person who is. Noah should have let him go a long time ago.

So, feeling gutted, Noah slogged back to the Snyder farm to wait for someone to come back. Hopefully it would be Emma. She might understand what Noah was going through.

 

 

\- - -

 

 

Hours later, Noah finally heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway, then its engine cut off and a car door closed. A few moments later the door opened, and Emma looked cautiously in, catching sight of Noah. Her hand flew to her mouth in surprise.

 

"Noah?" she asked. "What are you doing here? How long have you been here?"

 

Noah forces a smile. "I came to visit, like I said I would. Haven't been here long, just a few hours."

 

"Why didn't you call to let us know you were coming?" She was smiling warmly at Noah, but sadness lurked in her eyes.

 

Noah shrugged. "I guess I did come at a pretty bad time." He paused, swallowed. "How was the wedding?"

 

Emma's smile disappeared. She sighed. "Oh, I was hoping you hadn't heard about that." She shook her head. "He's happier than I've seen him since Reid died, since you left. He was torn up about it for months, but then he met Seth, and they fell in love."

 

Noah felt like his heart was being torn in half, but he nodded, smiled. "I'm happy to hear that. He deserves to be happy. I'm glad he's happy." The words sounded weak and empty even to his own ears, even though he really did want Luke to be happy.

 

Emma looked at him with pity. "You wanted him to be happy with you, though." When Noah didn't answer, she approached and took his hand. "I know what you're feeling right now, Noah. And you should know that, eventually, it will get better. Right now it may seem like it's going to hurt forever, but I promise you, it won't."

 

Noah reached up to scrub at his eyes. He's not going to cry. He won't do it. "I know that. I just feel like..." He sighed. "I'm still in love with him. I never stopped being in love with him. I've wanted to visit for the entirety of the past year, but it was never a good time for him or for me. I guess he didn't want me to visit at all, after he met his b- his husband, now, I guess. I wish he would've told me he met someone."

 

Emma looked concerned. "He never told you? What was Luke thinking? Leading you on like that. I ought to-"

 

"It's okay. I understand why he didn't. Well, no, I don't, but I do understand why he wouldn't want to tell me." Noah sighed again, looking away from Emma.

 

She echoed his sigh, and squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry, Noah." She released him, and went over to the fridge. "Are you hungry? I have plenty of food."

 

Noah smiled weakly at her. "I could eat."

 

Emma smiled back, and turned to grab food.

 

Noah sagged into a chair, and wished with everything in him that he hadn't come back to Oakdale at all.


End file.
